Toilet Paper at the Chateau

Another reminder that I have an obsession with the Chateau Marmont hotel in Hollywood occurred when I saw an ad on Instagram and INSTANTLY recognized the bathroom as being the one in room 32. Stephen Dorff is the celebrity hawking healthy toilet paper. Please read that again.



The same guy who encouraged everyone to vape is now worrying about UTIs, hemorrhoids, and cancer of the a** because of toilet paper. He calls your “normal” roll of toilet paper “a nightmare for your body.”

Dorff became associated with the Chateau Marmont as a result of the 2010 Sofia Coppola film, “Somewhere.” For the film, Dorff’s character was filmed staying in room 59.



The color of the vintage bathroom tile is the same in both 59 and 32, but the layout of 32’s bathroom is slightly different. Below is a shot I took recently when I stayed in 32. A perfect match!



The bathroom from 59; not a perfect match:



There is already buzz out on the net about Dorff’s ad. This article popped up and is fairly hilarious:

I still remember where I was, kinda sorta, the day I saw Stephen Dorff shilling for Blu e-cigs. Certainly he was paid to do the ad, but something about his leathery skin, cement-truck voice, and popped suit collar just screamed “I have indeed sampled many electronic cigarettes.” He sold the hell out of that thing. To the point that I think I immediately texted my father, who is still a smoker despite being nearly 80, to ask if he’d ever tried an e-cig. “Vaping” wasn’t a word yet and what little I knew about it made it seem like it might be a slightly healthier alternative to cigarettes (probably still is, but we don’t need to get into a whole thing about it). My father never brought himself to switch to vaping, but I don’t blame that on Stephen Dorff. In fact I’m still grateful to the Blade star for giving me the idea. Why was I inspired to share with you such a memory? Well, because today I discovered (aka my old editor Brett sent to me) this new Instagram ad starring Stephen Dorff, in an arguably even better pitch than Blu e-cigs. These days, he’s hawking “100% toxin free” toilet paper. “I know a thing or two about assholes,” rasps a bathrobe-clad Dorff, sitting in a tiled, baby blue bathroom. “They're more sensitive than you may think. And your normal roll of toilet paper is contributing to your risk of cancer.” So you’re saying that it’s toilet paper… and it doesn’t have… poison? You have my attention. The ad goes on to claim that the bleach and formaldehyde used to process your toilet paper are “forever chemicals,” linked to a whole slew of maladies, from “inflammation,” to UTIs, to hemorrhoids. The causal link smells a little vague to me, and calling bleach a “forever chemical” seems like some kind of nominative overreach, but I do wipe my butt and also sometimes experience medical issues, so who am I to say? Being a human in the modern world means nothing if not cautiously believing in magic whenever convenient. Is that why I’m tired in the afternoon and I can’t drink the way I used to? Is it the toxins? All I know is that when you give Stephen Dorff a product to pitch, that man sells the shit out of it. I haven’t seen a commercial performance this committed since Michael Imperioli told me my tequila was gay (or possibly not gay enough?). He finishes things off telling us that his new poison-free toilet paper will cost only $15 more dollars per year. “That’s two damn moccachinos,” Dorff says, in the no nonsense tone of a cowboy who has just sidled up to you in a saloon and correctly surmised that you enjoy moccachinos. Can you not spare a couple moccachinos, pardner? Think of your asshole! In conclusion, God bless Stephen Dorff for bringing his A-game no matter the product, and also I would love to interview Stephen Dorff’s agent some time to see what gigs he has turned down. I also wouldn’t be surprised if eight out of ten of Stephen Dorff’s friends were electronic cigarette and poison-free toilet paper entrepreneurs.

Alicia Silverstone, of “Clueless” fame, is also promoting the same product. Unlike Dorff though, she doesn’t rate a Chateau Marmont restroom. Instead, she gets a regular bathroom stall and also has the added bonus of talking about “vulvoginitis.”



You’ll be happy to know that this product is approved by Dorff’s a**.



If you haven’t seen the ad yet, here it is:



See more pop culture photos at my main website.

Melissa on the West Coast: The Finale!

It’s the semi-grand finale of Melissa’s annual west coast excursion! This Sunday morning at the Chateau was like most; morning laps followed by breakfast. At this point in the trip, Willis was showing his lack of enthusiasm about waiting for me to finish my swim.



This is what it takes to restore that enthusiasm: Chateau Marmont peppered bacon!



He smells it! And yes, he received a few tasty morsels.



It was a pretty relaxing day for me; a few naps, some photography…





When Melissa was done with her event in Ventura, it was time for a few more film location visits, starting with Circus Liquors in North Hollywood. Remember when Cher (Alicia Silverstone) gets mugged in “Clueless” (1995)?



Melissa’s outfit may not have been an Alaïa (“An a-what-a?!?”), but it was close enough!



Unlike my first visit there, the neon was working this time!



Recognize this fountain?



Yes, this is the fountain where Cher has her grand epiphany: “I love Josh!”



Melissa’s epiphany was that it was late at night and time to go to bed. Known as the Electric Fountain, this Beverly Hills water feature was designed by architect Ralph Carlin Flewelling in 1931 in partnership with sculptor Robert Merrell Gage, who created the center granite sculpture of a Tongva/Gabrieleno tribe member kneeling in prayer. The bas relief images below the sculpture are also by Gage, showing scenes of the area’s early development. The fountain was a gift to Beverly Hills from silent screen star Harold Lloyd’s mother, Sarah.



You can also see this fountain in the “Our Lips Are Sealed” music video by the Go-Gos’s:



Our last film location for this trip is from “Rebel Without A Cause” (1955).



The same alley were Natalie Wood and James Dean left their homes on the way to school.



In 1997, I saw a portion of the original fence when it was at the James Dean Gallery in Fairmount, Indiana:



A closeup of the display photos, showing where it was “liberated from”:



Back in San Diego, we finished the trip off with a tasty dinner at the Hob Nob Hill restaurant, which is a Daveland staple.



Melissa loved the remodel, which includes a large mural from “The Wizard of Oz”:



As Melissa jets back to the East Coast, Willis waits patiently for his next adventure!



See more photos at my main website.

Clueless in ’21

For 2021, there is one word that sums up the politicians, the media, and the medical profession: clueless. The world has suffered another year of ever-shifting policies, advice, and mandates. There is only one kind of “Clueless” that I can endure, and that’s the timeless 1995 comedy starring Alicia Silverstone.



Perfectly cast, Silverstone plays Cher, the ever-cheerful Beverly Hills High School student who loves to make people’s lives better through makeovers and matchmaking.



Director/writer Amy Heckerling (“Fast Times at Ridgemont High”) loosely based her story on the 1815 Jane Austen novel “Emma.” As Heckerling recalled, the studio execs couldn’t understand a teen movie that wasn’t “one of those slob comedies, and so what’s the point of a high school comedy that’s not like a raunchy high school comedy? So nobody wanted it, which was really depressing, and so they put the movie in turnaround.… People like happy movies and I certainly don’t feel like I was treating that age group with disrespect; it was like a fun version of a classy kind of world for teenagers. It was not like, ‘Oh my God, look at what kids are doing now!’ It was like here, this is what’s going on, kind of, not really, but not really, but fun…happy.” Originally written as a TV show, the script landed in the hands of  producer Scott Rudin, who “got it” and saw the potential of elevating it to a movie. A bidding war between the studios resulted in Paramount being the winner.

Bill Pope, Director of Photography: “It revolutionized teen movies by raising the bar. Teen movies were just sort of tossed off; they didn’t realize the teens were the smart ones, that you could actually make a movie with something in it.” Wallace Shawn (Mr. Hall): “It’s a smart movie. It doesn’t assume that the audience is stupid; it doesn’t assume that the audience is nasty. It assumes the audience is smart, intelligent, and clever.”



The casting was truly perfection; the three female leads are Silverstone, Brittany Murphy (in her first movie), and Stacey Dash.





The film had an impact on teen fashion and a long-lasting effect on the country’s vernacular. 



As if…whatever…totally bugging…I’m Audi…all still being used today.



Earlier this year, Silverstone reenacted a few scenes from the movie with her eleven-year old son. She has aged very little and still has all the charm of the character that she made famous.



See more Classic Movie photos at my main website.

Witches in Beverly Hills

Beverly Hills is not the place you'd expect to find a residence known as "The Witch's House," but that's exactly what you'll find on the corner of Walden and Carmelita. This storybook architecture classic began life in Culver City in 1921 where it was used as a film set and offices for Irvin Willat Productions. Art Director Harry Oliver was the designer of the Witch's house; if you want to see more of his work, check out the Tam O'Shanter restaurant on Los Feliz Boulevard.

The studio didn't survive, but fortunately, the house did. It was moved to its present site where gawkers can stop and admire. Here's how the house looked in 1954:



This is one of the classier looking tourist vehicles that makes regular stops; let's not forget this is Beverly Hills.



The exterior looks very well tended:



Current owner Michael Libow has put a lot of TLC into it, and also shows that he "gets it."



Love the details:



If you're thinking about visiting the Witch's House on Halloween, get ready to stand in line; you'll be joining about 4,000 other folks.



And yes…this is the house Cher walks by when she is pining for her stepbrother in the movie "Clueless." You can see it at :46.



Are you wanting more? Of course you are; you're only human. Mosey on over to my main website and hang out for a few.

Favorite Movies: The 1990's

"Wild at Heart" (1990) is David Lynch at his wackiest. Laura Dern and Nicolas Cage are two lovers on the lam, with Diane Ladd playing the nuttiest mother you've ever seen. Not for the faint at heart.



Sure, "Kindergarten Cop" (1990) is an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie, but I love watching it for Carroll Baker's performance as a grandmother from hell.



"Goodfellas" (1990) is a Martin Scorsese masterpiece. Based on a true story of a crime family, it is a cautionary tale about ill-gotten gains. Ray Liotta is outstanding as the pivotal character, Henry Hill.



"Pretty Woman" (1990) is Disney's...oops, I mean Touchstone's not-so-moralistic tale about prostitution. Dabble in it, and you just might end up with a wealthy husband that looks like Richard Gere. Thanks to Julia Roberts' winning performance, it's easy to overlook some of the more unbelievable moments in the movie.



"The Rocketeer" (1991) is one of those cult classics that was initially overlooked by many, but has picked up steam over the years. It perfectly captures the look and feel of 1938 Los Angeles and the silver screen serials that were so popular during that time. The ageless Billy Campbell plays the title character.





Sure, it's not quite the norm, but "My Own Private Idaho" (1991) is a beautifully crafted movie about two hustlers (played by Keanu Reeves and River Phoenix) on a journey to find Mike's (Phoenix) mother. Funny, emotional, and unresolved, it bears repeated viewings to comprehend it all.



"Frankie & Johnny" (1991) can be a bit depressing, as it deals with the theme of "settling" for someone just to have a bit of love in one's life. Some of the subplots are the predictable stuff you would expect from a Garry Marshall film, but thanks to Pfeiffer and Pacino, it's a movie worth watching.



While we are talking about predictability..."Sleeping with the Enemy" (1991) is the very epitome of a predictable movie. I doubt that anyone in the theater wondered what the ending would be, but because of Patrick Bergin's performance as Julia Roberts' anal-retentive abusive husband, you'll be on the edge of your seat through the entire journey.



"Fried Green Tomatoes" (1991) is an enjoyable tear-jerker, but for me, the best moments are those that show the growth of Kathy Bates' character thanks to her growing friendship with someone she met in a nursing home (Jessica Tandy).



"Age of Innocence" (1993) is one of the most beautiful movies I have ever seen. The Saul Bass title sequence made my jaw drop; it is absolutely gorgeous.



Joanne Woodward's narration lends the perfect air of respectability to the forbidden love story played out between Michelle Pfeiffer and Daniel Day Lewis.



"Six Degrees of Separation" (1993) is a little gem of a film that shines a none-too-flattering light on a few art snobs in New York City who get duped by a hustler (Will Smith). He makes a huge impact on their lives.



"Serial Mom" (1994) is for those (like me) who have a sick sense of humor and enjoy seeing Kathleen Turner running through Baltimore in high heels, pearls, and a kitchen knife, attempting to wipe out those who don't fasten their seat belts.



"To Die For" (1995) was the first movie that I actually respected the talents of Nicole Kidman. As a driven woman who will stop at nothing to get her fifteen minutes of fame, she is a devastating commentary on what matters so much to too many people in this world today.



"Clueless" (1995) could be called "Mindless" and I'd still love it.



Alicia Silverstone is the not-so-dumb blonde who always gets what she wants, whether it's support from her dad (Dan Hedaya) or the attention from the guy that she's in love with (Paul Rudd).



"Citizen Ruth" (1996) is an Alexander Payne classic. Rather than preaching for or against abortion, it expertly shows the silliness of any radical group who attempts to jam their opinions down the throat of the masses without any humanity or compassion towards the people they claim to be looking out for. Laura Dern should have won an Oscar for this one.



"Mother" (1996) is a favorite of mine because Debbie Reynolds takes on the persona of my mother in so many ways. A light breezy little comedy with some very sharp observations about mother-son relationships.



"L.A. Confidential" (1997) channels the film noir movies with a dash of color...



and a splash of Oscar winner Kim Basinger.



"Pleasantville" (1998) was one of the first films to make use of the blossoming capabilities of digital technology, and does so very well. The not-so-veiled message of "being different is okay" sits very comfortably in the white bread era of the 1950's.



Joan Allen perfectly captures the 1950's housewife who struggles to break free of her black and white world.



"Office Space" (1999) is full of so many memorable comic moments. If you've ever worked in an office, you'll appreciate the bureaucratic red tape that is spoofed in this movie. Doesn't every office have a Milton?



Uh, yeah...that's great. Don't forget those TPS Reports.



"Election" is Reese Witherspoon at her most annoying. Another Alexander Payne classic about how a determined know-it-all (Reese)...



Gets under the skin of one of her teachers (Matthew Broderick) and drives him over the edge.



"Smiling Fish & Goat on Fire" (1999) is a little-known independent film that really got to me when I saw it. A sweet look at the close relationship between two very different brothers who truly complement each other. A real gem.



See more classic Movie & TV photos on my regular web page.