“Snow White” is the latest in live-action “re-imagined” versions of Disney animated classics…and mercifully, it may be the last. Thanks to a number of factors, this film suffered a gigantic negative social media backlash before it was even released. Still, when a friend said, “Let’s go see just how bad it is” and offered to buy tickets, I attended with an open mind. I wonder if the other two people (yes…two, 2, dos, deux, zwei, etc.) in the audience did the same?
PLOT SPOILERS - BEWARE!Rachel Zegler plays the lead role of Snow White. Sadly, the Disney Corporation felt the need to explain away the color of her skin by adding to the plot line that the Queen gave birth to her daughter during a snowstorm. It is somewhat laughable that we are expected to believe that the pregnant Queen was riding around in a carriage in the middle of winter right up until her due date. Superfluous plot points like this and unnecessary characters bloated this movie making it roughly 26 minutes longer than Walt’s tightly constructed original.
Because audiences today are apparently dimmer than they were back in 1937, the royal family is shown in all their sickeningly sweet happy moments with birds, making apple pies, and constant repetition of the King’s mantra to his daughter: “Fearless, Fair, Brave, and True.” A mantra of this type was also a main plot point of Disney’s 2015 live-action version of “Cinderella,” where her father told her to always have “courage and be kind.”
I couldn’t help but also be reminded of this one from “The Help” (2011), also released by the Disney Corporation. Are we seeing a theme yet?
I know you will ALL be happy (and very surprised!) to discover that Disney turned this necklace into merchandise. At only $99 (cough), they probably should have added “wealthy” to the list.
Back to the plot…the Queen kicks the bucket, the King remarries to a glamorous woman who soon takes over the throne when said King disappears during a military maneuver. Snow White ends up mopping floors in the kingdom and feeling bad that the kingdom no longer makes apple pies.
The first twenty to thirty minutes weren’t awful; the movie seemed like it might be able to stand on its own and that Zegler’s performance and vocal strength in her original solo, “Waiting on a Wish” could sway me to the positive side. While I have been annoyed with the Disney Corporation’s lack of a spine, I am also annoyed with the online critiques of people who have yet to experience the film. Social media has created a wicked culture of people who sit on their ass all day and do nothing but spew out their bile, hoping to become influencers. Maybe they just need a necklace...or some apple pie.
The subjects of the kingdom are shown in all their misery, stuck under the now militaristic rule of their new Evil Queen, Snow’s stepmother. Snow herself is somewhat catatonic, continuously mopping the same small area of the castle over and over again while singing. Though Zegler is a competent actress, even she can’t carry off a convincing portrait of a slave laborer. The only thing that might make the audience sympathize with Snow White is the awful hairdo the design team saddled her with. There is just too much time wasted on the village (which was never seen in the original) and attempting to give pointless backstories. On the plus side…kudos for the design of the Magic Mirror and Gal Gadot’s makeup and costuming for her role of the Evil Queen.
Doesn’t she look bewitching, evil, and potentially dangerous?
That is, until she opens her mouth and it all falls apart. Whether it was her choice or that of the director, Marc Webb, Gadot seems to have just graduated from the Ru Paul Drag Race School of Acting. The choice of adding comedic camp to her role removes all of the menace and fear from her actions.
The plot finally begins to creak forward when a Robin Hood type character, Jonathan (played by Andrew Burnap) enters the castle to steal some potatoes for sustenance. Thinking Snow White is just a servant, he suggests she take a few for herself before he escapes...into the arms of the Evil Queen’s security guards. Because she has romantic stirrings for this gent, witnessing the Queen’s cruel punishment of this thief awakens Snow White from a state of complacency and reminds her of what her father told her (I’m surprised a QR code for purchasing the locket wasn’t added to the film).
There is zero chemistry between Zegler and Burnap. It might have been more believable to have Burnap paired up with the man in the magic mirror (not that there’s anything wrong with that). In the original movie, the Prince is on screen for probably no more than five minutes; in this version which is supposedly about awakening the warrior/leader within a woman (that would be Snow), the Bandit is given significantly more screen time. How ironic that for this story of female empowerment, the theme (look at the locket in case you forgot) came from the father (not the mother) and that the “awakening” came because of the encouragement of the Jonathan character. No matter how much males get bashed these days, looks like you still need them, at least according to Disney. Unless a thread starts up on Reddit to the contrary…
The rest of the plot is fairly on spec with the animated original, other than the addition of Jonathan’s band of thieves. If you didn’t pick up the message of “being different is okay” with the Seven Dwarfs and that everybody needs to get along regardless of race, creed, etc. etc., the band of thieves give more opportunity for that sledgehammer to hit the audience’s head.
On the subject of the Dwarfs…
The final choice to use CGI characters was an unfortunate one. They lack the charm, artistry, and comedy of their animated predecessors, thanks to the hyper realism of CGI. They should have had an eighth dwarf: Creepy. Also - did polyester exist back in the days of the fairytale? Snow’s costume looks like it came from the bargain bin of a forgotten Disney Store that was shuttered long ago. Animated Snow White cleaned up the cottage of the dwarfs before meeting them to show that she was appreciative of the possibility that they might allow her to hide there from the Evil Queen; no Princess attitude here! Zegler’s Snow “teaches” the dwarfs how to clean and lets them do it; it does not make her as approachable as the original Snow. Her message for the movie - let them eat an apple pie every now and then and all will be ok.
This time, Dopey is the poster boy for “being different is okay.” Naturally there is a transformation towards the end of the film that puts that sledgehammer to use again. Ouch…you might need some Advil by the time this film is over from all the blunt messaging it doles out. A bit more on the CGI: for the backgrounds, sets, and landscapes, it is perfectly over-done. It causes the sets and backgrounds to stand out and be noticed, rather than to blend in and subtly serve the story. They scream out, “Look at what my new computer can do!” Just because it CAN be done doesn’t mean it SHOULD be. Restraint is a virtue, too.
As I wrote in
my appreciation of the 1937 original, the songs were seamlessly integrated into the film and moved the plot forward. None of them were very long, either, which keeps the derriere from getting uncomfortable. In the 2025 version, each number is a Broadway spectacular that is over-choreographed, over-produced, and over-performed. You can bet your bottom dollar that an outstretched arm ends each number (how else would you know that the song was over?). The absolute worst is the Evil Queen’s big solo, “All Is Fair.” You can probably catch it being performed at a drag show near you. Oh Gal…what were you thinking?
If you thought you’ve experienced the worst already…brace yourself. The end (if you stay that long) is the ultimate bag of poo. The Queen survives after she “kills” Snow White, who is still revived through “True Love’s Kiss.” Why? Because this allows Snow White to have an ultimate showdown with the Evil Queen. Despite what the photo below may lead you to think, the showdown is between the Evil Queen and Snow White, not Little Red Riding Hood. Did they run out of yellow polyester in the wardrobe department for this scene?
That idea had potential, but it is carried out in such a lackluster manner that it is fairly laughable without any cathartic benefit. If Disney had been smart, they would have gone further in changing this story from the original. Keeping it in the fairytale world made it too ripe for negative comparisons Updating it to a different era or changing the story location could have provided more opportunities for originality. Finally, having a true creative vision and a strong point of view would have served the production better than one that constantly pandered to whatever was being said by the internet trolls. The final movie is like a watered down cocktail. No satisfaction; just a slight regret for ordering in the first place.
I am so bored with the Disney Corporation who chooses to keep pumping what has been a safe and fairly lucrative well, but lacks the innovation, daring, and excitement of what founder Walt Disney was known for. Disney Corporation - WAKE UP! Learn from this box office disaster and let your creative legacy spirit reawaken as it did back in 1989 with “The Little Mermaid.” It’s not too late.
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